Did she surprise
herself?
He was not really a stranger because she had heard a lot about what he was like. She thought they would be a wonderful couple when she watched closely her fiancé, smiling all the time and eagerly talking to her cousin’s husband. Both of them were from the same city and knew each other for more than a decade.
The
decent dowry and allowance monthly giving to her and her parents seemed not a
problem to him or his family. He adored her so much that she couldn’t believe
she had such luck. He happily but embarrassingly conversed with her about
living together in poor English. It was unbelievable that they even delivered
to each other some ideas just by nodding, shaking head and smiling. When he
tried hard to express his love by making a heart shape with his thumbs and
index fingers, her face flushed with joy.
Communication between them wouldn’t be an issue after marriage she believed. She got a smart mind and was a quick learner she was told, so she was sure she could learn Chinese and Taiwanese soon if she would do hard enough. She remembered her teachers at junior college always encouraged her to go to university because she had done so well before graduation. No doubt, she had confidence in herself making things right if she tried her best.
It
was not decided on impulse. She made the decision for the sake of her parents
and herself. She was thrilled by the excitement of going to marry him in less
than a month, accompany him and approach a promising future in Taiwan and her
parents too in Vietnam. The sight of him brought her untold happiness. She
harbored an intention - she would make her marriage a success when she hugged
her mom and ignored the tears on her face at Tan Son Nhat International Airport.
Things
did not go the way she expected. She felt awkward and inadequate in most of the
important ways. She was even unable to go to the Chinese learning class at
night because she lived in a remote village. It was obvious that she needed to
wait for at least 6 months before being qualified to pass a written in Vietnam
and a practical test for a motorcycle license. Her husband talked to her only a
few words in Taiwanese at night after work, which she had to guess what he
meant. His passion for her seemed unlikely to retrieve, and she did not know
why.
On that day, she vaguely assumed something not good would turn up. She had no idea what, or why she’d even think that was possible. If she took a wild guess, it might be she spotted his disgust-like glimpse when she talked to his cousin. She thought she bought some time at least to figure it out.
He
did not say a word while driving back home, and she could felt that he was
vibrating with anger. He stopped the engine in front of the house and suddenly
turned to her. He punched her head brutally and slapped her face hard. His face
distorted in anger while cursing her. She lost in the shuffle of pains and shock.
The intimacy she towards him vanished in a flash.
He
was a physically powerful man who once adored her and was gentle to others she truly
believed, making her vulnerable cornered nowhere to run. She misjudged him for
what was on the outside. She should have thought with her head, not her heart. The
attacks of anxiety and horror that followed were never subdued.
The words, “you are a bitch,” were running around in circles in her head. It was not an abusive situation she told herself. She tried to shake those terrible memories away, but the pains in her head and ringing consistently in her left ear stayed. It came brutally to her that he had all the power in their relationship and the balance between them never existed. Loss of self-identity was engulfing her. She cried out loud in desperate sorrow in the middle of the field.
She
lost not only her heart but her face. Her instinct told her not to say a word
about this to her parents or friends. She needed time to calm down, and the
bruises and swellings in her face and head would be fading away. She wanted to
believe that was only an accident because of jealousy possibly. It was likely
too that it was a drink problem. She persuaded herself to give him a chance to
prove she hadn’t done anything wrong at all.
The
beating never stopped and occurred more often. She learned to conceal emotions
from her husband. The humanity she felt was making it impossible for her to
breathe and talk to people properly. It was ironic that she recalled what she
said to her friend when she was young. She thought then a married woman must
keep to the basic demand for herself. What else did she leave for herself if she
was the only one to give in? Could she still insist that?
Why
didn’t she arrange a fallback position but give in what he demanded? Why did
she make herself act like illiterate because all the Chinese characters looked
like paintings of lines to her? What was that for living inside the miserable
ending of a tragedy? Why did she tolerate his cruel words echoing in her head
so loud and clear? Why would she waste the years of her life expecting about a good
future that would never occur? Why did she let him break her without mercy?
It
worried her a lot that she might need to leave Taiwan for good if her husband
divorced her. She thought she had to sacrifice a great deal to take what her
husband did to her and to live in Taiwan with her new-born baby. She was told that
a foreign spouse is required to stay in marriage for four years before gaining
the citizenship when she made naturalization completely.
One morning she thought she was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. She dialed 110 and 113 after her husband went to work. She met a lady social worker right away and got helps since. And she was informed of then one of the rules conducted by the immigration agency does protect a foreign spouse with a baby under such threats of domestic violence. The rule entitles her to live in Taiwan if she decided to divorce. She burst into tears and gave hearty laughs when she heard it. That relieved her distress and burden. She suddenly gained enormous power to get away from the endless torture she suffered and collect her freedom back from the endless torture she had suffered.
The
divorce was filed with assistance of the social worker and the abuse evidences
checked by the doctors and records from the scheduled police visits. It did not
take long that her husband gave up his son to her and signed the paper.
She
knew the wound in her heart would be healed even though it might take a long
time. But, the unwanted past deserved to be left behind. She wouldn’t allow the
past to steal her present and her future with her son. Her exhausted mind
needed a good rest. Not a one could ever do anything violent to her again she
promised herself.
The Ministry of the Interior revealed there were 1350403 marriage couples
in 2018 in Taiwan, the smallest number in 9 years. 114795 couples were
Taiwanese citizens. The foreign spouses from the Southeast Asian were 8749,
around 42.45% of married couples, most of whom were Vietnamese.
The foreign spouses can apply for Health Insurance after staying four
months in Taiwan, and are entitled to all the rights of the family laws under
the Constitution.
According to the Ministry of Health and
Welfare, the numbers of the abused female foreign spouses in 2016, 2017 and
2018 were 33380, 27302 and 27251 respectively compared to male ones 1817, 1860
and 1333 (April 4, 2019).
0 comments