Just Leave Alimony Aside
It seemed an
advantageous marriage of a good match when decided to marry. They were together for such a long time, and they thought it was time to start the family. Without reluctance, she quit her job to be a stay-home
wife and mother. They should be like most couples to spend the rest of their
lives together without regret. But, she was wrong about it.
She was the one who guided her husband when he was faced with the dilemmas
of making a right decision at work. His career was more solid more and promoted as they expected.
Whatever the reason, she was faithful when she had a better-than-well-paid job. She could feel that there had been a few handsome colleagues who had a thing for her had in that kind of seduction circumstances. She had never seriously thought about sex with another man because he was the only one she really cared about and deeply loved. She was a don’t-play-with-me woman.
She also believed
he hadn’t been with anyone other than her after marriage. They usually spoke
happily at night even when he overworked or got home late. But, he was quiet unusually
and he seemed to have something to say, but he didn’t form words.
He looked stressed over something while having a cup of stale coffee in the late evening and held back the contents of his massages, which he was used to sharing with her especially when he needed a second opinion to solve a problem. He stared vacantly and appeared to be caught in a web of thoughts.
He looked stressed over something while having a cup of stale coffee in the late evening and held back the contents of his massages, which he was used to sharing with her especially when he needed a second opinion to solve a problem. He stared vacantly and appeared to be caught in a web of thoughts.
She admitted that
he wasn’t a keen observer of beautiful women even though he had those qualities
every woman looked for in a man. He’d guaranteed that he wasn’t going to let
a woman be his downfall. That was
asking for trouble he told her.
It just happened.
When he looked at
the caller ID, he had no idea who the caller was. Taking a while the memory of
the girl came back to him, and he tried to calm himself in a state of overstimulated nerves.She told him she was in the coffee store
where he used to have lunch with his wife and asked him to meet her. He ran to
the store in minutes, questioned himself why she knew the shop and his wife,
and wondered whether she had already told his wife about what had happened.
The girl, who
looked so naive when she served him and his friends at that bar that night, said
she was pregnant without giving him a look. It
was such a shock to him and he lost his tongue. His handsome face was
then twisted with horror.
She was more
mature than he thought she was. She was doubted she knew like a mind reader. She
told him she asked nothing for the incident but just informed him of this to
let him know he’d be a father of the new life. Besides, she knew him for a
while since she was a part-time worker at his wife’s department before she started
working at the bar.
She also promised
him that she was able to raise the baby on her own and that was just between
him and her. She’d never tell anyone about this. Anything he’d like to offer
would be met with denials she also confirmed. Was that all? He was quiet while his
heart was sinking in sorrow for this.
It was only once he
suddenly had an urge to take this enough temptation from a woman for happiness
that night. He shouldn’t have done it on impulse. But, he did.
He didn’t have a split second thinking about what he was doing would extend to his wife and daughter too. His wife actually had to cope with the anxiety and pains, which he brought to her. He couldn’t downplay this one night stand. There wasn’t an excuse one way or another like other guys, who felt guiltless because they thought they were deserved to need a break from family. But, he was not one of them.
He thought it was disgusting to bluff his wife into believing it, that it was only one
night fling. It was more than that he would have another baby -- another woman
was expecting. But, it was only once and how could he let this happen? He
didn’t want to see how much he had hurt his wife. Endless anxiety
washed over him. But, he couldn’t discuss this with her the way they always
did.
The failure of
their marriage was his, and he was the one at fault unable to make sure their
lives could run smoothly as usual. This affair he never dreamed of, neither
did his wife.
There was always a
sore and injured point between him
and his wife after he confessed to her. Could either of both get rid of it?
It’s true only
sometimes, not all the time, that one’s life seems what his/her thoughts make
it if he/she is talented and strongly determined to approach the goals.
However, the fate plays a key factor to interfere by some means one gets to
admit.
Their life just
turned out to be one unlike what they were planning for. They hadn’t been tired
of the backup from each other, who had been an unbeatable supporter of each
other after years of marriage. Both of them never wanted to stop and quit their
roles as a spouse and a parent. But, they were right in the middle of a
marriage crisis.
What was important
to both of them seemed not that necessary any more in their lives. She
questioned what the purpose of this was? She never gave it a thought this would
occur in their marriage. She lost heart and did not know what was right or wrong for certain.
She should divorce
him and have a fresh start, focus on healing and try to gain all her strength back.
But, how could she be allowed to do this, with her two-year-old daughter and
without a job?
All about alimony
Alimony is called aliment in Scotland, maintenance in England, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Wales, and Canada, or spousal support in U.S. and Canada, and spousal maintenance in Australia. It is believed a legal obligation on a person to provide financial support to his or her spouse before or after marital separation or divorce. The obligation arises from the divorce law or family law of each country according to the definition of Wikipedia.
That money paid by the ex-husband to his ex-wife is no longer true. Since the 1970s there have been motions in many Western countries on account of gender equality with an acknowledgement. That means one of the divorced couple, who earns substantially less than the other, can be entitled to alimony, without gender differences.
Alimony Reform Act in Massachusetts was signed by Gov. Deval Patrick on September 26, 2011, and went into effect on March 1. The new law decides whether alimony will be granted, if at all, based not on a wide variety of criteria.
Before that, the lower-earning ex-spouse needed to be supported by the ex to the standard of the lifestyle of the marriage. In addition to that, a judge had a right not put an end date to alimony even for short-term marriages. Payers to the exes didn’t have the right to retire because alimony was for life long before the reform act was put into action four years ago.
Luckily, Alimony Reform Act of activists have been on the way hopefully in Florida, Colorado, Oregon, Connecticut, New Jersey, Virginia and South Carolina in the StatesMarch 11, 2012).
In Taiwan
This definition of alimony as the above can’t be applied to the situation of a divorced woman even when she is a home-stay wife and without any property in her name when she divorces her husband.
When one, again a woman most of the time, comes to face a divorce, the reasons must be various. The major reason must be “adultery” if you’ve really observed.
In order to gain the benefit of the disadvantaged divorced spouse, the alimony policy is conducted according to Article 1057 of the Civil Law. There was a study which indicated from 1999 to 2009, the most commonly problem after divorced has related to income and most divorced spouses are females in Taiwan (Chia-tzu Lin, 2010, The Empirical Legal Study of Alimony System in Taiwan from The Perspective of Social Welfare, a master dissertation of Asia University). The researcher also made a conclusion that the government doesn’t have a well-planned welfare for a divorced spouse if the law can’t guarantee the alimony surely delivers to the disadvantaged ex.
When one, again a woman most of the time, comes to face a divorce, the reasons must be various. The major reason must be “adultery” if you’ve really observed.
In order to gain the benefit of the disadvantaged divorced spouse, the alimony policy is conducted according to Article 1057 of the Civil Law. There was a study which indicated from 1999 to 2009, the most commonly problem after divorced has related to income and most divorced spouses are females in Taiwan (Chia-tzu Lin, 2010, The Empirical Legal Study of Alimony System in Taiwan from The Perspective of Social Welfare, a master dissertation of Asia University). The researcher also made a conclusion that the government doesn’t have a well-planned welfare for a divorced spouse if the law can’t guarantee the alimony surely delivers to the disadvantaged ex.
The only chance a home-stay wife wins the case is she has to try to sue her husband for what he has committed. It might be adultery, violence, commitment, etc. But, how is she able to do that if she doesn’t have a penny to her name? The case which happened in the States
It is crystal clear that alimony is rare in Taiwan. There might be exceptions for the rich or the celebrities who try to escape desperately from marriage .
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