I’m totally happy what I am. Why not?!
He is still charming
and attractive even though his hair is up to his receding hairline and gray
hairs appear. He teases himself often about it -- being bold is very likely
soon. She laughs at that. She loves what he was, is and will be. Yes, he is
aging not fast but slowly.
He is a
50-year-old guy, oblivious to his confidence, smartness and professional
talents. He definitely is allowed to have his children whenever he wants to. It
is his option beyond doubt.
She does know the menopause should be one of the main cause, which has been making her suffer the non-stop of sudden hot flashes. She is losing that natural gift – to carry her next generation. She and her husband will end up what they wished as a DINK couple.
They just come,
and she just let sweat drop down from the tip of her nose when she looks down the
textbook while teaching. That flushes her face and neck, and she feels so
embarrassed in front of her students that she pretends it is the heat of summer
and fans her face with her hand.
At night, she
feels so hot and sweaty that she keeps the room below 22°C. Her husband can’t
stand that coldness, so they sleep in different bed rooms since then. This disrupts
her live and his too. He jokes about being kicked out from the master bedroom
by his dear wife in front of his friends.
Once a doctor told
her that she should avoid working at night and before bed using her computer or
cell phone because the light and what she reads can disrupt her sleep.
Is what she is doing to make it real – that she can’t fall
asleep without taking sleeping pills? She does wake up earlier and have trouble
going to back to sleep if her sleep is interrupted by sweat due to the hot
flashes or some sort of noise.
She has no desire to have sex with her husband, not because she doesn’t like to but because vaginal dryness makes her feel painful during and after intercourse. Does he miss their satisfying sex life they used to have? Surely, he does, but he complains nothing.
She doesn’t need
sympathy or comfort from her husband. Once the hot flash came just in the
middle of having sex, she was so hot, wet, breathless and frustrated, looking
up at him suddenly standing still and having no idea what to do about it. He
hesitated a moment and asked her if she liked to take a shower. A pity it was
she thought.
She can’t forget
it – it was not long ago. He said she was eccentric but
posh.
Her beauty was her great charm and some of his friends couldn’t stop talking to
her in her saucy little black number.
He joked they couldn’t stop drooling. Is she still attractive to him? It’s
hard to tell. She can see that he looks worried about her uneasiness.
He’s suggested
that she receive the hormones estrogen and progesterone treatment. She prefers cosmetic surgery to improve her facial aging to hormone
things.
She does what she
likes to search what she can do for the brown patches, which are boldly getting
darker and bigger. She can tolerate hair loss or crow’s feet around her eyes, which won’t be noticed from
distance. She wants to get rid of the aging spots.
She questions
herself if she is one of them who value the appearance highly. She remembers how
sarcastically she criticized those famous female entertainers
who had breast jobs or nose jobs done and male ones to have too much botox injections, smiling motionlessly. She concluded
with and convinced her students that beauty is but skin-deep and now she is in doubt if
she is right about this.
She searched some blogs and found some successful cases but also realized some potentially dangers exist too. It is never a success as one is promised. She might suffer irreparable skin damage if the skin doctor doesn’t do a right job, and it should be a nightmare.
She has also noticed it is very exaggerative that there are a lot of cosmetic clinics
along any one main street. Are those cosmetic surgeons really qualified? If so,
isn’t it easy to find a famous skin clinic and get things done? But, she is coward
to enter one of them.
She learns how
patient he is with her. He arranges a visit to a doctor for her. Of course, he
will be there with her. Things are getting better, aren’t they?
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