The in-laws
Hey, young lady!
What a luck if you meet a
so-called pushy tiger mother of your boyfriend, who rattles away question after question about things like how your
parent/s to make a living, where to live, how many siblings you have?
Will you be fearless to stay
and shoot her a quizzical look?
Will you go on what you want
to, heedless of her warning?
Or what if one of the family
members does that to you if it is not a mother?
Will you be brave enough to
keep going on?
Now, let’s ask a young man.
Will you give it a guffaws when your bride-to-be talks back to your mother since you like her spunk?
Do you admire she does take
real courage to do so?
What if one of your parents
doesn’t approve of the girl you dearly love and insists you deserve the best of
the best?
Are you willingly to be a
buffer when there is a conflict between two women you love, your mother and
your wife/lover?
What if this does bother you,
but she says that you’re the only one she’s got, and she won’t trade you?
Do you have such a mother-son
confidence not bother the irritating relationships between mother and daughter
in-law which occurs often and is believed unavoidable?
Are you sure that she is the
one you want to spend the rest of your life with?
The fact
My mother-in-law told my
sister-in-law in front of me that she shouldn’t pick up or carry anything
heavy, who was pregnant and living in a new apartment far away from us. They
were oblivious to her presence, chatting, whispering and laughing.
I thought if things should be
the way as she reminded her daughter to avoid, why I was the one to do the
weighty chores after work while I was expecting. My mother-in-law didn’t help
me anything but spent most of time enjoying her retirement. I remembered the days when I carried that big huge belly, riding the motorcycle in the rain, and failed to make the dinner on time. There was not an acidic word said, but no tenderness or
concern was shown either. I didn’t dare to
mix in on her routine. She definitely had it in her nature to boss me around.
Where I lived was an old
town, it seemed unlikely for me to outlive the gossip spreading over
unbelievably faster than one could imagine. A seed of hatred grew in my heart,
but I understood the true bond of marriage. I wasn’t fond of pretending life was
lovely and tolerated silently. However, I tried hard not to make my husband
deal with taking sides with his mom or me. Walls have ears (隔牆有耳), and I attempted not to complain, but I knew my
husband was aware of what was going on.
Eventually, all bad things
somehow came to an end. The threat of change in the life of my mother-in-law
was destined after I suffered those years. I felt a slight twinge of guilt, but my life
should go on without hesitation. Shouldn't I?
In fact, many families like ours ended up in a divorce court. But, I was so lucky that I made it -- we finally moved out. What a relief after that. There wasn’t a problem for us to make ends meet and pay the mortgage monthly with double incomes.
In fact, many families like ours ended up in a divorce court. But, I was so lucky that I made it -- we finally moved out. What a relief after that. There wasn’t a problem for us to make ends meet and pay the mortgage monthly with double incomes.
Looking at how my husband
scooped his daughter up in his arms and hold her close to him. I held my tears
happily to see this. How long I waited for the moment belonging to us only.
I loved to keep myself busy
like doing things in garden, where I found peacefulness. That came over me when
I was staring the blossom on the flower beds. I appreciated my life to settle
into a pleasant pattern without sudden disturbance. I was pleased that I felt a
certain pleasurable freedom doing things as I wished.
It was pretty late when I
went home and my daughter caught the sight of me, her face lit up and she
grinned and ran to me. I held her face up and my eyes locked onto my
daughter’s. How could we leave our daughter behind alone at
home? She was only ten years old.
Shouldn’t I deserve a better
life of my own than nursing my mother-in-law, who didn’t ever like me a bit? It
was true that she was critically ill but stable, but I didn’t have the nursing
skills and strength. Where was her daughter, my sister-in-law? My job was in
jeopardy, but my sister-in-law ran her own business. Why couldn’t she take time
looking after her mother?
I felt like the world was
upside down and there was no future. Besides, I ran out of patience. All that
time, what really was important was running through my mind. I needed to steel
myself and face the future of my own family I told myself.
This wasn’t a knee-jerk plan but aimed to appease, nothing more. My mother-in-law eventually lost the ability of self-care after being dismissed from the hospital. She was taken to a nursing home with the financial support partly from my sister-in-law too. The people in the nursing home promised to manage her risk factors to lower the chance of a recurrence, and she would have a professional care there. We visited her on weekends. Yes, you might classify these as duty visits.
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