In a dilemma
Carol didn’t catch it as usual when David blew
a kiss to her before he was off this morning. She mentally figured out what she
needed to do, to take a leave of absence from work or to arrange for a twenty-four seven qualified Nai-ma, a nanny, when the time
came. She told herself to stop worrying about all of the “what ifs.” She knew that she should solicit
Maria’s help not David in deciding how best she could move forward.
Before the lunch break, she
broke the silence between Maria and her and was tentative to ask Maria. Maria noticed Carol’s mind wasn’t fully
on her work this morning.
Carol: Maria, could I ask you something
if you got a minute.
Maria: Yes, always get a lot of “a minute” for you. You
know that, don’t you?
Carol: (Grinning and nodding…)
Thanks for everything. You know what I mean. I should have said this to you,
but it just crossed my mind.
Maria: We’re good friends, and I do appreciate the
friendship we have and the feelings we share with each other. What is in your
mind? Is something wrong at home?
Carol: Yes, I think so. David’s been rotating between work and the hospital after his mother was hospitalized. And, Tiny stays with
my mom now and I might take him home after work if possible. This arrangement allows me to
visit my mother-in-law and bring some things to her if needed. But, my mom can’t
do that for me anymore. I’m worrying what I can do if I can’t find a twenty-four seven qualified Nai-ma to take care of Tiny once we need.
Maria: What did you mean that your mom
can’t help you anymore?
Carol: You know my sister-in-law, whose delivery is due
in two weeks and my brother works in the south. He can probably take a couple days
off. Then, it’s my mother, who needs to give a well care to her daughter-in-law
at least a whole month according to our tradition. So it’ll be a big problem
for me.
Maria: Yes, I think the top priority of your mom has
shifted in this circumstance. She believes, like others, that restoring her
daughter-in-law the physical strength completely is more crucial after delivering
a baby. We all experienced that, didn’t we? How wonderful your mom is to treat
her daughter-in-law as her own daughter. She does what she thinks is the best even
though some foreigners don’t believe this and say it’s not a big deal. From my point
of view, I even got stronger physically after that. I guess your mother will be
very busy preparing special diets for your sister-in-law. I doubt she might
also help your sister-in-law look after her grandchild at night. That definitely
allows your sister-in-law to gain a full rest without being disturbed. Wow! It
should be very hard for your mom.
Carol: Yes, it is. That’s why I didn’t tell my mom about the
hospitalization of my mother-in-law, who needs to stay in the hospital for a
while. I’m not sure how long “the while” is. I desperately need to find a Nai-ma to look after Tiny.
Maria: Why can’t you bring Tiny back to the one who
looked after him before things happened? Can’t you let him
stay with her whenever needed?
Carol: No! Things were set under the contract that Tiny
should go home at
18:00 on weekdays and she can’t take care of Tiny on national holidays
and weekends either.
Maria: But, could you talk to her to find a way out, like
giving her extra pay for extra hours?
Carol: She might say “No.
Maria: You should try to ask.
Carol: I wonder if my mother-in-law can be release from the hospital in
a week. It's only if she can, I don’t have to talk this with her or my
mother.
Maria: It never hurts to plan ahead. This is what I thought if you’re asking advice.
Carol: Yes, you’re right. I’ll talk to
her tomorrow or today.
Maria: How much do you pay her now?
Carol: We pay her 18,000 dollars to take care of Tiny
from 8:30 am to 6:00 pm on weekdays a month and extra 8,000 dollars given on
Dragon Festival, Mid-Autumn Festival and Lunar Chinese New year respectively.
Maria: Does she only look after Tiny?
Carol: No, she takes care of another six-month baby 24
hours a day. That work gives her another 28,000 dollars. That is why I’m not
sure if she’d be happy to look after Tiny until I’m available to get him home.
Maria: Huh, now I understand what you’re worried about. Beyond doubt, care giving is labor intensive. All in all, you just need a backup plan.
Carol: You’re right about this. Do you know I can’t talk
this with David? The emotions toward family members, stresses from this and challenges
of work seem foreign to him. Discussing with him about these is like not
knowing where our conversations are headed. Listening to what he talks on the
phone with the doctor about his mom, I can’t find his voice a bit strained.
Maria: Listen to me, Carol. That is one of his merits, and that’s why
he was promoted. If I’d been one of the committee members, I’d have done the
same thing – to choose him instead of me.
Carol: About the promotion, I feel
terribly sorry
and can't say this to you.
and can't say this to you.
Maria: Don’t be. You’re such a terrific friend not only a
colleague to me. Come! Give me a big hug.
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