Would you like to have your own career?
Dirlik (1995) believes that
Confucianism never died and has played a role in sustaining an oppressive
family structure in a Chinese society. It has suppressed women, extinguished independence and
creativity on the part of youth. I agree that it has generally taken a dominant position in Taiwan’s
society. Therefore, Confucianism seems to be immersed in a deeply
gender-divided view of the world; that women are wives and mothers (Ou, 1985),
that Confucian traditions overwhelm the values of democracy and equality, and
that this discrimination against females within the family is extended into
society (Chung, 1994; Ou, 1985).
Carol couldn’t give Sera a ring
last night. After she had dinner with David, she was worn out. She could hardly
take a shower.
Carol: Hello, Sunshine! Did I
wake you up?
Sera: No! I slept like a log last
night. What about you?
Carol: I’m fine and sorry not to
call you last night as I promised.
Sera: No, I was too emotional
last night. I understand you get many
things to deal with if you’re
alone with Tiny. You’re a wonderful mother and a
sweet wife. If I were you, I
would be all fingers and thumbs.
Carol: Hey, it sounds to me like
you’re.
Sera: Yes and no, do you have a
tight schedule today? Could you manage to fit me in during the lunch time? I
need some advice from you, really. It won’t take long.
Carol: Sure! I’m happy to meet
you then. What about 12:20? At the coffee shop next to your office building?
Sera: Thanks! So, see you soon.
Carol can have a day off if
needed, but she won’t give Ruth any excuse to underestimate her ability to
handle her personal problems. Her mother comes to her place to look after Tiny
as usual whenever Tiny doesn’t feel well. That public daycare center is not an
option today. She'll never quit her job.
Carol: Hey! You’re here. Tell me
what is going on between you and Sean.
Sera: Do you have to go back to
work in an hour? I might waste your time for complaining to you about things
that have troubled me.
Carol: Nope! I’m all ears! Is
this a problem of Sean’s parents?
Sera: No, they are very nice not
like my ex-husband’s family. It's true that I didn’t like my ex-husband’s
family, especially his mother. I don’t want to pick at an old wound, but she
thought I should have put up with Tony’s extramarital AFFAIRS. Why
didn’t she try to be in my shoes just to feel? It was her son to blame, not me.
She wasn’t thoughtful, and believed the way to gain her position and power
within the home was through her husband and her only son. She never understood
I needed respect not power or money. I hope she now gets along well with her
new daughter-in-law.
Carol: Have you talked to her or
Tony recently?
Sera: Absolutely not! I didn’t
have any alimony from Tony, but I’m happy I didn’t have children when I
divorced him. Or, it might have been an ugly divorce. Anyway, now I’m a
free agent. And I have my own job I've devoted myself to for such a long time.
Carol: I totally agree with your
point of view that married women should have their own careers. If you hadn’t
kept your job then, you might have still stayed in that marriage, unable to go
back to the competitive field of your specialty.
Sear: Yes, I’d still be the wife
of a rich doctor.
Carol: How about Sean? You
haven’t talked about what’s going on with him. I remember you said he is
wonderful person who has helped you go through the hard time after you divorced.
Sera: Nothing is wrong with him,
but our policies in Taiwan. He has to face what his friend, Michael, is facing
now if we get married as we plan to do soon. We can’t find a way out if we
start family.
Carol: Sorry, I’m not with you.
What are you talking about? What is this with Michael?
Sera:I’m just feeling terrible.
Sean is worried about we would have a problem like Michael. He is having
trouble getting his son into the local elementary school in Taipei. The reason
is that neither Michael nor his son is entitled to a Taiwanese citizenship, and
it’s not free for a foreigner to gain so-called compulsory education.
Sera: That is the problem. If
“father” is Taiwanese, it’s a different story. It’s unfair. Sean wants his
children to be educated in Taiwanese schools since he’ll be here for at least
ten years. We both think it’s a good opportunity too if we let our children
learn more about Taiwan’s cultures in Chinese. But, after he realized the legal
things which got Michael into trouble, he criticized our policies against
foreign spouses, who are not allowed to have dual nationalities. Then we had a
serious quarrel with it. Somehow, I know he is right.
Carol: Do you want to know what
I’m thinking? I think you two don’t make yourselves stumble on things like
education or citizenship. You do what you’re planning to do, Sera. You have
found someone right and don’t let him feel reluctant. Love is the most
important. Don’t you think so after you suffered through so much from your ex?
Sera: I never thought about that
things like this would make us have rows with each other even though I admit
this policy is unfair. Why doesn't the law forbid Taiwanese people to gain dual
nationalities? (Sigh!) But, you are in the right. I shouldn’t be desperate
for a straight answer from the political complication. I just need to do what
you suggested. I’ll text Sean and meet him tonight.
Carol: That’s my good girl.
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