Timing of marriage and women’s life chances
As the minutes of biological clock is ticking away, are you feeling everything is going to be all right? What if you’re mature and really ready to give the
birth to your baby and Mr Right is still absent?
Achievement
Kate can’t put that thought away that she should
have more opportunities to find a better job if she completes a master degree.
It’s true that friendly colleagues and variety are what she looks for in a job
and she is lucky to have it.
But, she needs to face the possibility in
the future that she’ll end up a secretary forever if she hangs on here, being less experienced
than others and not highly qualified. She was convinced this by what had
happened to Maria, who has been in great disappointment recently at the office.What she devotes herself to work seems very likely to turn out to be a wild-goose chase like Maria.
Kate: Do you approve that I quit my job and get into a postgraduate
program?
Kate’s dad: What’s the matter? Did Ruth or Maria give you
a hard time?
Kate: No! I just want to study more and find a better job. I’m sick of
doing the routine work all these days.
Kate’s mom: Do you know how old you are? Twenty-eight. I hope you talk to
Eric about this before you make a decision.
Kate: Why? My goodness, I’m not married to him yet. I’m independent, and
why should I? The decision about my career made is none of his business.
Kate’s dad: You two have been dating for three years. Our
neighbors ask often about when you’re going to marry.
Kate: Sorry, not three but four years.
Who cares what they say?
Kate’s dad: I care! It’s been a long time. He finished
a-year Army Service* and also had an MBA last year. Now, he’s very pleased
with his high-paid job. Have you two been talking about marriage? You do know I’m
not pushing you…
Kate’s mom: Yes, they did. I remember Eric proposed to
you before he graduated, didn’t he? I don’t understand why you’ve been indecisive
when we’re talking about marriage. Or, are you seeing someone else we don’t
know?
Kate: No! Why are you so skeptical? I just wonder whether
I have to do what I really want to do before I get married.
Kate’s dad and mom (in unity):You can
do whatever you like with Eric after marriage.
Kate: Not everything. When I graduated from university, I
thought qualifications were not important to me. I believed then I was able to
gain what I deserved if I worked hard and kind of creative. But, I was wrong
about this. Look at Eric and me! He gets a better-paid job with a master degree.
I’ve been an assistant secretary at this company for three years. I think I won’t
be promoted at all in the future. I can’t stand this anymore.
Kate’s dad: Are you sure Eric is happy to wait for you two
more years? You will be thirty years old if things are going well as you plan
on. What about his mother? Don’t you think your nonchalance your about the
timing of marriage might annoy his mother? You know you’re not young.
Kate: Could you stop this?
Kate’s mom: You shouldn’t talk back to your father. We just hope you live a good life
with someone you love.
Kate: I’m sorry! I’ve
been wondering how I could have a wonderful life if the present job can't promise me a bright future if possible. I know I’ll hate myself if I do nothing to get rid of
it.
Kate’s dad: My point of
view is that you’d better talk to Eric and see what he thinks about this. We’re
not trying to discourage you from going to a graduate school. I know you have some get-up-and-go, but it won’t hurt if
you and Eric can have a real talk about what is the best for you two, and his
mother. Do remember how she might be feeling about it.
Eric came to see Kate after work as usual even though it took more than an hour because he was stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Kate didn’t keep him waiting. That is more her style. They were walking arm in arm. Kate and Eric Know they won’t t split up no matter what happens to them. They just have to face the music together to persuade his mother into supporting Kate’s decision.
What women face in Taiwan
Since 1994, the Ministry of Interior Affairs of Taiwan gave its opinion about the timing of marriage, that women had better get married between the ages of 22 and 25 for their next generation. It’s undeniable that women have their biological timing to continue the descent line especially in a marriage.
A man no matter how old he is, out of a weird instinct to produce his next generation is very likely especially to marry young woman. A beauty is a plus surely.
The richer the man is the younger wife he is looking for. Unfortunately wealth comes with ages, and a young wife seems to overlook the difference of age. It's very likely that kind of insecurity about the age difference never occurs to an elderly groom. People have no words against this either. It’s quite normal and kind of acceptable if he can satisfy his young wife and her family beyond doubt.
Why? Don’t you realize that money does talk? But, it;s running the opposite for women. Have you given it a thought why the timing of marriage and then carrying a baby, both being one inseparable, "is" at the top of priorities of a woman’s list of life chances? Have you heard about biological clock? Of course, you have.
Biological clock here refers to a woman’s fertility affected by her age. A woman’s fertility after puberty increases, giving a hope to produce her next generation. But here comes the brutal fact that the fertility decreases with advanced maternal age, which inevitably causes an increased infertility. This deeply affects women only when the age is especially in late thirties and beyond.
Once married, women experience pressures from their in-laws or themselves to have a baby. If a pregnant woman is 34 or above, an amniocentesis to have a test such as down syndrome is unavoidable. Therefore, both the timing of marriage and especially the timing of childbearing are of the most important to women only.
Now, you know why timing is so important to a woman that she should bring her child/children before getting too late to conceive.
There were a couple elderly and kind of famous women in a sort of entertainment industry in their fifties having an affair with a younger guy junior to them by ten or more than ten years respectively. That news about both couples exactly entertained the public for a while and their names have been mentioned again and again whenever that can be applied to someone else.
The so-called love stories happened to the mature women, or elder women if you like to say, all ended up in breaking up. However, it’s not a surprising piece of news at all when it works out perfectly for a rich old guy with a way-too-far young wife. Please don’t say "It's all Greek to me."
Everyone always knows why, because aging is a serious issue for women not for men. It’s not a question but advice “A woman shouldn’t get into a relationship with a guy junior to her if she is a bit of aged!”
Who is to blame for this? No one! It is nature.
Who is to blame for this? No one! It is nature.
* In
Taiwan all men are required to complete the Army Service for at least a year or
so at the age of 18 if they are not still at school. From time to time, this required
time has been changed. Male
students can postpone their Army Service until they finish undergraduate or
graduate school.
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