Shouldn't this be paid more attention to?
Her son and daughter-in-law alerted to the tension, chewed slowly putting down the chopsticks and stared her directly. They waved a hand to shoo her two grandchildren out of the kitchen.
Her son and daughter-in-law alerted to the tension, chewed slowly putting down the chopsticks and stared her directly. They waved a hand to shoo her two grandchildren out of the kitchen.
She was a woman on a mission as a good mother, a nice
mother-in-law too. They had never heard her be so outspoken and so determinate.
They could have pretended they did not know anything about what had happened
between her and that old guy if she had kept it unspoken.
How
could she do this to her only son, who always gave the full respect to her
after his father died when he just turned twenty? He should have stopped his
mother from seeing him at the beginning, and he regretted he didn’t give it
serious thoughts.
The youth
Women in Taiwan have somewhat
changed their attitudes and values of gender roles. Besides, one of the possible factors that have influenced the phenomenon could
be that there are more and more women
already moving toward independence and pride in the society. The traditional
beliefs of Chinese women lying in obedience to fathers, husbands, and their
sons seem less valuable nowadays.
The substantial increase in
premarital sexual relations and premarital pregnancy has hardly surprised
people in Taiwan. Education could play a very important role if this is
discussed because it is very common for every Taiwanese to complete education because
school completion somehow helps the readiness for sex and adulthood. That might
be why premarital sex is more likely to happen in the situation of readiness
for adulthood.
It’s believed that women with college education or beyond that are more open-minded, or more westernized, who are then likely to engage in premarital sex. On the other hand, women in higher education might be more possible to have strong career ambition too. That is why the level of education does not have a significant influence on women's likelihood of engaging in premarital sex I believe.
According to Pollster Online
Survey (2013), more than 80% of the subjects in the survey conducted in Taiwan accepted
premarital sex. The reasons might be the attitude toward sex before marriage is
more open than before as mentioned before.
It is not the QUIET
sexual revolution among the young people as they gave this a term (Rindfuss & Morgan). This revolution seems pretty loud enough to shut
up the disagreement of the conservative public on this issue.
What about the widows or widowers? Are they
influenced by westernization or modernization
and accepted by others, especially by their children, if they date again or are
even planning to marry?
A
widow
After the death of her husband, she tried to act the
way as she used to and talked to her only son when she needed to make a
decision. Sometimes, she disagreed with what her son argued with, but she
smiled. Her son didn’t notice how weak she was.
She
acted like to have unlimited power in front of others, but she knew she felt
helpless. She was lonely. Her source
of pride and mental independence
gradually had been taken away. It had taken almost more than five year before she
was herself again.
She
had a good job and worked very hard to make their life as secure as possible.
She offered her son to complete his master degree and was very happy about the achievement
of her son. He located a wonderful job with a high pay in a big company of
good reputation.
She
was relieved when she realized that her son got along well with his girlfriend
and decided to marry. They wanted to live with her. They thought it was much
better for her if they accompanied with her.
She
retired and stopped going out with her few friends after her grandchildren were
born. She spent the whole day looking after her grandchildren for nearly three
years.
The unexpected
She formed a habit of taking a walk after she took her grandchildren to the kindergarten. At
the beginning, she didn’t know whether to smile or frown and did neither when he
nodded at her in the park. Few weeks later whenever she saw him, he grinned at her. They started having small
talks.
One
day she was embarrassed to blurt out her troubles to him about the room
arrangement and the arguments with her son, but it was also a relief when she
saw him laughing at what she complained about. After that, she sometimes mentioned
to him the unmentionable.
She
realized then she had missed the main purpose of life to be happy and she had fun
with him. Running the facts through her mind, she decided not to talk too much about this with her son. He reminded her of his father very often when he talked about his childhood like a teenager. She understood how much he missed and loved his father.
She lived in the same neighborhood for decades and she did not want to give her son worries about so-called reputation, who was everything to her.
Besides,
looking at the mirror, she was not the one young and attractive but old and
wrinkled. What left with her was nothing about physical attraction but aging spots
on both the face and the limbs, and flabby breasts and fat butts are a plus.
At first, her mind filled with all kinds of thoughts, and she convinced herself what he said might be polite formulas. However, she admitted that he caused her spirits to rise in a wonderful way. She thought it was the sight of him, which changed her mood. A great pressure from the doubt consuming her thoughts for weeks finally lifted off her shoulders after she decided to accept his invitation to visit him at the lunch hour.
She
didn’t need to know the intimate details of his life. She never understood why her son wanted to pry about him after she told
him about visiting him. Her son also doubted the possibilities of the fact that
he
could have scandalous affairs with other women.
Didn’t he learn there were two sides
to every story? It was a façade she believed. There was no need to worry about dealing with
him like a constant game of cat and mouse. She just followed her heart. He was
much older than her and what would he do to her? He would never intervene
with fate to bring the trouble into her life. He was a retired doctor living
with his son. That was all. But, she had no heart left
for arguments with her son.
He hardly utters ill of the dead, but misses the good days with his wife. For more than a year, he didn’t know who he could speak to about the sorrows of losing his wife. The memories are so fresh that he could still see how he helped his wife to take a sit-down bath and washed her thinning gray hair. She was so fragile that she couldn’t even stand his gentle touch. The grief to him was only tentative he believes, and he’d gain his mental strength again.
She
seemed distant and not ready to accept a hello when he nodded to her in a
friendly fashion after they ran into each other often in the park. She
caught him looking at her, and he got a coy smile. He couldn’t help smiling at
her petrified expression. He didn’t know why but was sure that she’s a good
soul, and she’s alone.
Words
spill out without passing through his brain first when he chats with her and the
time he has with her almost keeps his mind off his wife. He’s never given it a
thought about betrayal to his deceased wife.
She
doesn't emit a whiff of sexuality but
appears like a breeze which makes him feel lighthearted. He takes obvious
pleasure in walking with and talking to her every chance he gets. He is very
pleased to see the laugh lines around her eyes deepened when he shares a joke
with her or about mundane things.
When he informed his son of the lunch date with her, his son bluntly asked him how old she is and whether or not he intends to marry again. He didn’t answer but walked away. He thought that his son is entitled to his own opinion and so is he.
Aging
Isn’t it true that no matter how different the substance of a love might be at different ages in a person’s life, love should weigh the same? Shouldn’t this adopt more open attitudes toward relationships of the single elderly?
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